This is the kind of day that makes parents hair turn grey

This is the kind of day that makes parents hair turn grey

So let me tell you about my crazy day. I've stubbed toes, fell down, tripped one to many times, covered my ears before I suffered from severe hearing loss, cleaned, did a crap load of laundry, and as soon as I made the yummiest dinner felt like I was dying from nausea. I don't know what got into my three year old son today. He was creating flames underneath his feet and honestly about ready to make NASA look bad with how fast he shot to the moon. I mean really Olympians you have nothing on this three year old he holds more energy then anything I've ever known. Simply said I felt like pulling my hair out. I don't want to ramble on and on about it cause I think everyone knows what this is like so I'll spare your eyes. Well I want to write more but I'm not feeling to well so I'm going to keep this short.

Keeping watchful eyes on Hurricane Hanna

The happy, crazy, full of prayers kind of day

The happy, crazy, full of prayers kind of day

Where to start that seems to be the question on my mind right now. I've went through so many stages of emotions within the last 24 hours that it has been kind of nuts. First let me elaborate on the first string of emotions:

Panic-

of, relating to, or resembling the mental or emotional state <panic fear>

OK so I walk into my dinning room mind you it's completely empty since we haven't got our household goods sent to us yet. I went to pick up one towel off the floor and I found maggots under it ahhh. I asked myself are you serious? I mean really I swear I have the cleanest house in the neighborhood. For goodness sake I even scrub the tiles with a toothbrush. I have no food setting out and no boxes in my cupboards. It was all just in that one little area. Makes no sense thought they needed a food source to thrive. I'm not scared of bugs but I am scared of ones that infest houses. I don't like sharing my living space.

Exhausted-

to deprive of a valuable quality or constituent

I spent ALL night re-scrubbing my all ready perfectly clean floors and cleaning my bare house just for and giggles.

Restraint-

the checking of one's true feelings and impulses when dealing with others

My darling son woke me up at 0630am by slapping me on the face...enough said.

bitch-

something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant

^^^^^--------That was me all day long

But there was one thing that mellowed myself and my family out and that's when loved ones are in serious danger. The house gets sadder and sadder as we wait to see what destruction Hurricane Gustov will bring. My In-laws live in Biloxi, MS where they had barely survived Katrina. They were given an evacuation order but once again my mother-in-law cannot leave because she is an RN at a major hospital and is needed. She is a true testimate to loving dedication. Today my husband was told that they gave her a wrist band that was more less like a dog tag just in case she didn't make it. This is when it really hit us hard. We as a family are truly scared. How many chances of surviving do you get before you run out? They know and it's radiated towards us that this could really be it. My MIL told her hubby to leave and go while he can but I know that he would never leave the love of his life for anything so he's decided to stay at there dream home on the beach with Saddie the dog. It's so heart breaking and yet at times like this we can feel how close our family really is. How blessed are we. Please pray for them and if you don't believe in God then please believe that the love they have can get them through anything.

PRAYER FOR SAFETY IN HURRICANE SEASON
O God, Master of this passing world,hear the humble voices of your children.The Sea of Galilee obeyed Your order and returned to its former quietude.You are still the Master of the land and sea.We live in the shadow of a danger over which we have no control:the Gulf, like a provoked and angry giant,can awake from its seeming lethargy,overstep its conventional boundaries,invade our land, and spread chaos and disaster.
During this hurricane season we turn to You,O loving Father.Spare us from past tragedies whose memories are still so vivid and whose wounds seem to refuse to heal with passing time.
O Virgin, Star of the Sea, Our beloved Mother,we ask you to plead with your Son on our behalf,so that spared from calamities common to this area and animated with a true spirit of gratitude,we walk in the footsteps of your Divine Son to reach the heavenly Jerusalem where a stormless eternity awaits us. Amen.

I'm slowly losing control

Slowly Losing it!

Today is one of those simple reminders to myself. Don't take little things in life for granted. When I'm not working it's nearly imposable to get out of bed. I spend so much energy during the week trying to feel better during work that when I have time off I can barely move. The constant nausea is almost crippling. I just want to feel normal again. I want to get up and clean everything and play with my son at the park but how can I when I feel like I need to blow chunks every two seconds. Feeling normal again is all I wish for. It's so depressing. I just sit on my butt and watch everything I've worked so hard for slowly going down the drain. At first I was understanding and very patient thinking that it will blow over soon but now that I look back it's been four months of struggling that has no light at the end of the tunnel. Or at least that's the way I feel. I know I'm hurting my husband and my son. Constantly being shut up in the house not being able to be the out-going family that we usually are. I finally crawled off the couch to bathe myself so that I can take my son to see his good friend who just came back home from grandma's at Fort Benning. I feel weak and overall just blah. Just hoping I can feel better just for this brief period it would make me and my family so happy even if it's just for a moment.

A Mother, Wife, and Soldier

Diary Of a Mother, Wife and A Soldier
Life can be so confusing and funny at times. The joys the pains and trials we face in this life. Some how we manage to get by. But that's just it! Why is it that we just get by. I thought we were supposed to have a fairy tale life where you didn't have to practically kill yourself to prove yourself or to make an accomplishment. You do everything you absolutely can to be the good mother, wife and soldier and yet it never seems to be enough for yourself or anyone else for that matter. You love your life and live it to the fullest or is that just some bull crap some self-convinced person put into your head. I've been asking that myself over the years. What in the world is really going on. Time for a reality check.
This week was kind of trying. OK OK it wasn't all that bad if you want to compare but to me it kind of was. First off all week long I've been worked harder then a race horse and I know what your thinking. You're thinking your a soldier and you should work hard that's what you do but lets face it people I am a human to and just like you I get tired to. Not to mention being a mom and running my son back and forth to daycare which I have to drop him off at 0530am. Then there's the cleaning. You know the usual stuff. But man it's completely exhausting. However there is one thing that has been very troubling for me. Feels more as if life just wanted to play fetch with me and the bone is nowhere in sight. I've been to doctor after doctor and right now I'm starting to feel kind of mental. April 1st 2008 I had an IUD inserted i.e. supposedly the god-send of all birth control next to getting your tubes tide. It was great a little pain and cramping but great. Then in July 2008 it hit me and it hit me hard. God hit this ball WAY out of the ballpark this time. Extreme nausea hit me and had no mercy. So much so that I would start getting panic attacks doing things that never ever bothered me before like driving a car and standing in formation. I've been dealing with this for months now and in September I decided to get the darn thing out. What a great day that was or so I thought. I was feeling a thousand times better. Then came 6 mean stabbing demons called vaccinations. My arms were sore but I still felt great though my arms felt as if they couldn't take one more shot. Then I got the dreaded stomach flu eek. Alright it hit me hard for a few days but I was sure that after all that I would be golden and I was so wrong. It all came back like a horrible dream then it went away. What a glorious time. I was finally able to do more then the usual. I could clean every house in the city with the new found energy I had. So on Thursday 28th I took my PT test and passed woohoo I was on a roll. I had to set-up and run a PA system for a change of command ceremony. It was all good except for my gracious (cough cough) NCO made me guard it from 9am-till ceremony time at 1300. Then of course I had to stay and run it through the whole ceremony. It was also hotter then... well you can imagine I'm sure. Then it hit me again. The dreaded nausea. It's a horrible feeling when your over-heated in front off hundreds of soldiers and colonials and so on. I'm just so sick of feeling like this. God needs to stop throwing this bone so far and teasing this anxious pup. Someone tell him to be nice and pull that string back or at least tell him to take a ball bat and knock some sense into my moron doctors. In advance thank you if you do this for me.
Well enough of me and onto a major worry. You know I've always loved my in-laws but lets be frank they can drive me battier then a kid that was just given an ice cream cone and piled to the sky with ice cream. They act like the average day parentals who just live to make your day a little kookier then usual but then when your heart gives out that god awful worry it's like you cry out for them to be ok. They survived through Hurricane Katrina by the grace of God. They live in Biloxi, MS right where the eye of Katrina went over. My father-in-law was all alone in the house and my mother-in-law was trapped in the hospital on the second floor while the first floor was flooded and the third had the roof on fire. They didn't leave because my MIL is an RN and she was very needed just in case. So brave of them. But there is another storm brewing and it's name is Hurricane Gustove. It's Friday and they are already calling out for mandatory evacuations in Mississippi. However brave my husbands parents are I can't predict that if they stay this time if they will be as lucky as they were last time. I'm either over reacting or I'm alright for fearing the way I do. I tell my husband about all the updates but he thinks I'm more worried about this storm then the weather predictors themselves. He doesn't understand the capacity of such storms so it's harder for him to worry unless the threat is immanent but honestly calling out evacuations sounds pretty immanent to me. I can't help it. I'm a worry wort by nature. Even the oil riggers out in the golf are evacuating so I guess I could kiss those nice new gas prices. Note to self for future reference...It's always good to take risks in life but the mouse who got the cheese also got his neck snapped. Sorry so blunt I never said I didn't have a crooked mind.